is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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