Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My cat gives me a boner
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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