Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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