so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
