Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
