And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize