If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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