It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
