I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize