is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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