and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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