woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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