she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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