I look better un-naked...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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