she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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