My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
