I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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