I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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