Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
