I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
