I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
