Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
