This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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