her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
did you just send me my own nude
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
