Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
