We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
