I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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