Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
