Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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