K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
