What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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