There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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