you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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