Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize