Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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