just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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