Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
