my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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