Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
