If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch