everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
