We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
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