So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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