Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
