okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
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I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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