It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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