dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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