I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
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I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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