I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
