she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
