already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
