so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
