Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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