To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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