Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
