I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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