gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
