I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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