hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
