WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize